Demisexual
Definiton
Disclaimer: People can experience identities in different ways. As such, people can identify with a label without exactly matching the definition because identities are fluid.
Demisexual (often shortened to "demi") is a term used by people who only experience sexual attraction after developing an emotional connection or bond with someone. The nature of the bond can vary from person to person, but possibilities include friendship, romance, and/or other forms or combinations of forms. Forming an emotional bond with someone creates the possibility for a demisexual person to feel sexual attraction, but does not guarantee it will occur. Demisexual falls on the asexual spectrum, so demisexual people may also identify as asexual. Demisexual people may experience other forms of attraction and can be any gender; the term only refers to a person's sexual orientation.
Another definition of demisexual is someone who experiences secondary sexual attraction, but not primary sexual attraction. Secondary sexual attraction develops over time and is based on the relationship and connection with a person. It is not based upon anything that is instantly available upon meeting someone, so it includes things such as personality and experiences. Conversely, primary attraction is based upon information that is instantly available upon meeting someone, such as appearance.
Demisexual people can identify with another sexual orientation to describe the gender(s) of the people they eventually feel attraction to. They may even add "demi-" to the beginning of another sexual orientation label they identify with. Demisexual people may also identify with another label on the asexual spectrum, such as graysexual.
Flag History and Meaning
The origin of the demisexual pride flag is disputed; some sources say it was created on The Asexual Visibility & Education Network's website around 2010 (since it is based upon the asexual flag), while others say it was uploaded to Wikimedia by the creator, Vimopu, on April 22, 2013.
The colors of the demisexual flag do not have official meanings, but they are assumed to be similar to those of the asexual flag:
- Black: the wider asexual community
- White: sexuality
- Purple: community
- Gray: the wider graysexual community
Related Identities
Demisexual is an umbrella term and can include labels such as:
- Amantesexual
- Apexsexual
- Apressexual
- Communicosexual
- Demipleasure
- Demisexualspike
- Dellosexual
- Encephalosexual
- Koinikosexual
- Sequencesexual
- Vallissexual
Demisexual is related to labels such as:
- Demiromantic
- Demian (demi-aroace)
Demisexual can also fall under these umbrella terms:
- Asexual
- Graysexual
- Fluid
- Queer
Additional Resources
- The Demisexuality Resource Center has many resources on demisexuality, including general informaiton, articles, and an FAQ page.
- "Demisexuality is not celibacy: Demisexual myths busted" from Pink News breaks down common misconceptions about demisexuality.
- Since demisexual falls under the asexual umbrella, you can also check out the Additional Resources section from the Asexual page.
Sources and Image Attribution
Sources:
- LGBTQIA+ Fandom Wiki's "Demisexual" page
- LGBTQIA+ Wiki's "Demisexual" page
- LGBTQIA+ Wiki's "Demian" page
Images:
- "Demisexual flag" by Vimopu, vector by AnonMoos, public domain
